They are back. After a one-year absence, due to the writers' strike last year, the Golden Globe awards will be handed out this Sunday, complete with all the glitz.
I will be working at this event for Dick Clark Productions. And we will provide a live feed of the red carpet arrivals show, as well as the three-hour show on premises at the Beverly Hilton Hotel.
This year, unlike years past, I will try to give you a glimpse of some of the behind-the-scenes action, and post some photos as well (not of celebrities on the red carpet -- you'll get plenty of that all over TV and the tabloids), after the broadcast.
The preparations started a few weeks ago, with meetings recapping every step of the way. Everything is pretty much scripted. Including what the presenters will 'read' when they come out to announce the 'winners.'
The International Ballroom, where the dinner/ceremony is held, has been going through major alterations as crews prepare the stage, and check for sound, lighting, etc. You can't even get into the room to catch a glimpse, even if you are a hotel guest, unless you have special credentials.
Speaking of hotel guests, the rooms for this weekend have been sold out since last year. For thousands of dollars. But the 'lucky' hotel guests will be able to roam around the lobby area, where they will see all the celebrities in their full glory parade before them on their way to the ballroom, or the bathroom, or head out to the elevators to visit a friend's suite who might be throwing a pre-party.
In addition, behind a roped area, the hotel guests will also be able to take pictures, and offer 'we love you' shout-outs to everyone who walks by, not always in unison, and always unrehearsed.
The show is televised on NBC at 8PM Eastern, so it starts at 5PM here in Los Angeles. And usually by about 4:55PM, the 'fashionably late' comers are still roaming the red carpet outside, where they are constantly reminded to take their seats on loudspeakers. But tell that to 'Access Hollywood,' contractually obligated to interview every major star who is still standing and wearing a dress.
And once again, ridiculously, the most asked question will probably be, "What are you wearing?" Of course if I was asked that question, I'd probably take it as a compliment of my cologne, and proudly blurt out its name. I think they even have a suit and tuxedo line.
Yesterday was credential day for me. The credentialing takes place all week ending on Saturday. If you don't have one, you can't even get near Santa Monica Blvd., let alone the hotel on Sunday. The Beverly Hills PD will be out in full force. Nothing else going on in that city to warrant police presence anywhere else anyway.
So if you're planning on speeding, and hoping to avoid a traffic ticket, good luck. The traffic will be horrendous in Beverly Hills. Do what most of the residents do on that day; leave town, and head out for the more slum neighborhoods nearby like Santa Monica or be adventurous and take a ride to Malibu, and possibly visit a loved one at Promises.
The credential everyone receives is different. It has a bunch of letters identifying where you are allowed, and where you are not welcomed. Each laminated badge has a built-in chip. So, as the readers scan the badge, your picture will pop up on the monitor. And God help you if your picture doesn't look like you. You will no doubt be treated worse than Guantanamo Bay at the airport.
Cutting-edge digital systems will be used to screen everyone who enters, and re-enters the hotel grounds. You have to submit a room key, or a credential, followed by a check online, as well as onsite, and present two pieces of photo ID, before you are allowed in.
If you're not a light traveler, and have luggage with you, that too will be checked. Be sure not to put 'personal' items on top, as there will be plenty of people surrounding the immediate area, of all sexes. Then you will still have to go through the screening systems unlike anything you've seen anywhere, and the friendly staff will tell you things like 'nice cell phone in the right pocket,' or 'be careful with that iPod on your left sleeve,' etc., as if they were some psychic who can see through you. And occasionally, someone will be asked to go back to their car and leave the item they weren't supposed to bring.
Even if the person is a bodyguard and is carrying a licensed concealed weapon of mass distrust-tion, the staff will turn the matter over to security. And they will take care of it. Believe me, there's an army of security, from undercover, to plain clothes, to FBI, to Secret Service, and who knows what else. There are even snipers positioned on the roof overlooking the red carpet aiming at anyone who declares love for Allah or anyone else other than the Hollywood Foreign Press Association (HFPA), whose 80 or so members (why aren't there any Turkish ones?) decide which movies and celebrities to pat on the back.
Today and tomorrow the platforms will be set up on the driveway of the hotel. Also the red carpet is laid down, and the bleachers are rolled into place, for those who are not hotel guests, but would like to scream and yell at all the passing celebrities for some reason. They are chosen with meticulous attention via the Homeland Security playbook. And even if you wrote a bad check once, you won't be able to partake in the aforementioned activities resulting in losing your voice as if you were at a political rally declaring death to Israel.
At midnight Saturday night, the street formerly known as Merv Griffin Way will be closed to anyone other than those who have a special vehicle pass. And those passes have chips in them as well. Identifying the driver, the passenger, as well as the celebrities.
And on Sunday, every celebrity who exits a limousine will have to present his/her credentials, identify the secret password, answer a few questions about the value of 'Pi,' and walk through those same scanners, as everyone else, as soon as they step foot onto the red carpet, and before they are escorted to the interview and paparazzi area.
If they so choose, their escorts will reroute them directly to the ballroom, whereby they bypass the entire red carpet experience. Some celebrities who are going through rough times, or who've been caught with a same-sex prostitute the night before, will choose this option, rather than simply not show up.
The 'real' stars will all be humane in their treatment of others who are servicing and attending to their needs, at least for the day. Most of the 'newly discovered' one-hit wonders, who along with their entourage probably rented the tuxedos that they are wearing for the first time, since some of them never graduated high school and still missed the prom, will pretend they are too famous for being asked to step to the side and discard the metal spikes in their wallets. No mention of the piercing of their private parts will be made, but those pop-up pictures will forever be saved for someone's amusement later no doubt to be shared in MySpace.
Two award winners I think I know ahead of time. Steven Spielberg will receive the annual Cecil B. DeMille award for lifetime achievement; and a dead guy, Heath Ledger, will probably receive the award for best supporting actor. And maybe a third, revealed too soon? For a list of categories and nominees, please visit the HFPA website.
Anyway this is how it all starts. I will be there from early Sunday morning until early Monday morning. You see, after all the celebrities are given drinks with their dinner during the three hours they are seated, they get to exit the ballroom standing and head out to one of the several parties held throughout the hotel, including its roof. After that after party, they will venture out to the rest of Los Angeles for more after-after parties. And by then, my job will be over.
Really... I will be very glad when it's all over.
More later...
